by Randy Ooney
My Nickel’s Worth by Randy Ooney
It’s that time of year. The committee has convened at Target Field once again since nothing seems to go on there after October 1. It’s time to decide the Turkey of the Year for 2015. Once again we have a number of candidates on the ballot. Norwood Teague was a write in but he is not eligible for the award since he already has a gobbler award in his trophy case. However I could not resist nominating former Gopher coach Jerry Kill. I do not want to cast sarcastic innuendo on a guy with a serious health problem, but some of his interviews after games seem to bring out his true colors. Blaming the media for a poor showing against Kent State and not acknowledging Beth Goetz as Minnesota Athletic director. And while we are in dinkytown, nomination is made for Tracy Claeys for his play calling during the last 20 seconds of the Michigan game. Not to mention that both Daron Hansen and I can wear one of Tracy’s sideline warmup jackets. Yep, both of us fit in it at the same time !!! Right now TCF Bank stadium is called “The Bank”. But when the Vikings move to their new home “The Bank” may become the Turkey Barn. The Williams Arena barn is being promoted as a wonderful quaint venue for basketball. Who are they kidding? Richard Pitino is trying to figure a way to compete with Louisville in recruiting. (Maybe a boat on Lake Minnetonka would do it.)
My friend Dave Mona was a key player in bringing the National Senior Games to Minnesota. I was a competitor and to register it was necessary to visit the Convention Center and pick up materials for the competition. The Center was adorned with a number of booths with everything from T-shirts to My Pillows for sale. Then everyone left and no one paid the bill for the Center rental. I hope it has been taken care of by now. Competitors shelled out a pretty good chunk of dough to compete.
The Timberwolves are off to their usual sub .500 start. Ricky Rubio gets a nomination. I don’t think he could play four games of shuffleboard without getting hurt. I was going to nominate the guy who I wish would have taken a few days off, Aaron Hicks, but I have left him off the ballot since he is on his way to the Big Apple. I wonder if he will have trouble finding it. Bert Blyleven is on the ballot again, a TV commentator who cannot pronounce Cespedes or Zobrist, but rattles on about his birthday and how many shutouts he pitched.
The Turkey Committee took less than ten minutes to approve this year’s Turkey of the Year. This Twins player has been a fan favorite over the years, but he is now a pitchers favorite because everyone in both leagues knows that he will never offer at the first pitch. A wise pitcher grooves one belt high and nicely centered and even Laz Diaz can’t call it a ball. Our first baseman/DH has always been a decent hitter, and this year he was paid a little over $146,000.00 for each hit. No wonder it costs $7.00 for an apple at Target Field. Our 2015 Turkey of the Year – Number 7 – Joe Mauer.
Since I have a family member with poultry allergies, we will be having ham this year. If you all would please refrain from calling Thanksgiving “Turkey Day” I promise not to call it “Ham Day”. Thank you.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!