by Randy Ooney
My Nickel’s Worth by Randy Ooney
“Old Friends, Old Friends, sat on their park bench like bookends”. Words from a famous album by Simon and Garfunkel. Although the word OLD has only three letters, There are too many meanings and references to imagine. Jamie Moyer has reached the ripe “old” age of 47, yet because of his profession, he is considered old. Lumpy may not be tall enough to ride the roller coaster at Valley Fair, but once he proves how old he is, they’ll probably let him on. In the not so distant past, General Motors discontinued the Oldsmobile. Even though the name started with those three letters, and the model was an innovation by a man named Olds, everyone knows that old people drive Buicks.
“Can you imagine us years from today, sharing a park bench quietly? How terribly strange to be 70.” Paul and Art got the age right for the MSC. You can bowl in the tournament if you are over 50. That makes you a “senior”. You go through stages of super senior and super duper before you reach 70 and become a real “old” guy. It only takes scotch whiskey 12 years to get old, a bit longer for fine wine, but not nearly that long for cheese.
But the most incredible living thing in the world of all sports has to be the old course at St. Andrews, (pronounced sen Andrews by the Brits), recent venue of the Open Championship, (pronounced British Open by non-Brits). The course was chartered as a golf venue by the Royal and Ancient golf gurus of Scotland in about 1552. That would be 60 years after Christopher Columbus’ famous voyage, and more than 200 years before the Revolutionary War. I have no idea what kind of clubs, balls, clothes or caddies were on the course, but any golf course that’s 450 years old and still playable, commands respect. I wonder if they even had doctors back then. And if so, did they play on Wednesday afternoon? I did find it a little curious to think of golf becoming popular in England 400 years before Hazeltine was built, but when the rains came to St. Andrews, as they always do, out popped the advertising logo umbrellas - Titleist, Callaway, Ping, Taylor Made, and various other brands of golf stuff from those fine companies of the good old USA. Someone in Great Britain missed a golden opportunity to open a Golf Galaxy in 1575.
It was an interesting golf tournament. Too bad an old guy like Tom Watson didn’t win.