by Randy Ooney
My Nickel’s Worth by Randy Ooney
Let it Snow
“Oh, the weather out side is frightful….” When I was young, every winter’s snowstorm was compared with the Armistice Day blizzard of 1940. There was the St. Patrick’s Day storm of 1965, the fallout of which was new high watermarks of the raging Minnesota River on old 169 heading into Shakopee. Then the double dose of 20 inchers in the early 80s within 48 hours. Then along came Halloween, 1991. A new benchmark for nasty snowfalls. Last week, my bowling buddy, Mr. Plow spent 29 hours behind the wheel of his pickup plow, clearing the white stuff from parking lots and driveways. I did not hear if he spent time after that getting plowed himself. I’m sure everyone has a blizzard story or two. I won’t bore you with mine. Suffice to say the body shop called and my truck should be ready Monday.
The snow hampered Christmas shoppers last weekend, but I’m sure the stores will make up for it. I can’t imagine telling a wife or husband, “I was going to shop for your present on December 11, but the weather was bad so I didn’t get you anything. Have a cookie, sweetheart.” One thing I noticed in the stores this year was body butter. Maybe it’s been around, but I have never seen it … in a jar or on a body. Interesting name though. It’s common knowledge that too much of the yellow stuff from Land O’ Lakes can clog your arteries. People now can spread butter on the outside of the body so they will have nice looking skin in their hospital bed.
Shopping for a bowler is not a huge problem. First, check with the bar at the local bowling center and see if they have gift cards. If not, most keglers would be happy with a new wrist brace, a bottle of Nu skin, a large bottle of Aleve or Motrin, or a new bowling shirt. You could also upgrade your shopping to maybe a three ball carrier with wheels, but make sure the thing comes with snow tires. A new ball would also be welcome, there is once again a long list of new equipment that wasn‘t on anyone’s Santa list a year ago. Evil Siege, Global Profit, Theory, Nomad Dagger, Bank, 2nd Dimension, Prodigy, Anarchist, Anaconda, etc. With all these names, I wonder why none of the big bad ball makers have introduced a Snowplow. I suppose it would be a tough sell in Florida and Texas. Maybe I could at least get a Frosty the Snowman implanted in a Vis-I-ball.
Merry Christmas everyone. Those of you who were dreaming of a White Christmas - Wake Up!! You got it.