by Randy Ooney
My Nickel’s Worth by Randy Ooney
No matter who you are, no matter what your bowling average or skill level, each and every one of us will suffer the same fate every bowling season; your worst game of the year. Judging from some of the results at the USBC, some bowlers are suffering this fate in Las Vegas. One of my personal experiences occurred at an MSC tournament in the ’07-’08 season. I was having a sub par day at Maple Lanes and found myself in a match against a formidable opponent, our mnbowling host, Mr. Spin Biscuit. It was one of those games, pocket hits were 7-10s, high hits were 4-9s, and I chopped a couple of 6-10 leaves for a whopping 122 game. I think Tom beat me by 130 pins. Maybe you didn’t go as low as 122, but everyone has had their low game of the season at some point.
I used to play a round of golf once in a while with a guy who had a 12 handicap. I think he got there by conceding six foot putts to himself for a 6 and writing down a 5, but as a golfer who knows the word mulligan, and occasionally tosses one out from behind a tree, it’s not for me to criticize another’s game. Besides, the gentleman happened to be my boss, so it was good company policy, plus I liked being invited to the country club once in awhile. We once played in a charity event where, before the round, you could buy mulligans for a $5.00 donation, so we both purchased a couple for a good cause. But by the 4th hole, I saw my boss trying to put his ATM card into the ball washer to get a few more.
I have never had a handicap in golf. I think the highest allowed is 36 and I’m not sure that I could get lower than that anyway. But what’s interesting about golf handicaps is that not all of your scores count. My aforementioned friend with the 12 handicap would frequently get an 8 or 9 on a hole. He would announce his handicap of 12 to the foursome and claim he cannot count more than double bogey, so he’d write a 6 on the card. The ABT and NABI have rules that are similar to this to try to curb sandbagging, but whenever there are rules for the good of the game, there are also people who stay up nights trying to figure a way to get around them.
This week the big potatoes are teeing it up in the Masters. I think most of them have a handicap of zero, so if we apply the same rules, I think that if Augusta National bites any of them for a double bogey, it’s okay if they write down a par. I am not sure what the score should be for the 11 that John Daly took a few years back, but I’ve found that double digit numbers don’t fit in the little boxes on the scorecard, so I haven’t had over 9 on a hole in years. And while I’m at it, I think I’ll petition the MSC board of directors to throw out my 122 game or at least have it raised to 175. It looks better. Tom can keep the victory and the 40 bonus pins. He earned it. But……..some day we’ll meet again.