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My Nickel’s Worth                                  by Randy Ooney


We’ll be Back….


If you have the pleasure of watching television now and then, you probably have also had the trials of watching hundreds of commercial ads.  Advertising makes the world go around and even if you pay for satellite or cable TV, you still must endure the ads.  As I’ve said in the past, I don’t mind some commercials, the sponsors provide the revenue so we are able to watch comedy, drama, sporting events, and Leave it to Beaver reruns.  But no matter how many times you hit the toilet or fridge between innings, you cannot avoid the plugs.


But wait a minute.  The announcer says, “If you or a loved one had died from a terrible disease because of some terrible carcinogen, call our law firm so we can sue their pants off.”  I understand about the loved one, but if it was you that suffered the terrible fate, how can you make the call?  Well, since AT & T has more bars in more places, and Verizon has 80 million in their network, maybe…?  Another one - “This drug may alleviate some symptom, but by the way, there are 37 ways that you could die by taking it, so ask your doctor if it’s right for you.”  Your doctor went to school for 12 years to get the MD, so he or she should already know whether you ask or not.

I used to see a lot of ads for Comcast when I had cable TV.  Now that I’ve changed to Direct TV, the Comcast ads have been replaced with Direct TV ads.  Odd that these people spend their advertising dollars trying to sell me stuff I already have. 


The Super Bowl always provides us with entertaining commercials, but they don’t seem to repeat them often beyond January.  One exception is the Pepsi ad where they have transformed one of my favorite oldies, “Forever Young”, written by Bob Dylan and performed best by Peter, Paul, and Mary.  They have reworked it into a Hip Hop/Rap version that makes me hit the mute button every time it comes on.  I realize that some people like the Hip Hop genre, but write your own song, don’t use one from the boomer generation.


The Progressive insurance girl is clever, and is challenging the gecko and the AFLAC duck for the title of best insurance spokes personality.  I kind of miss the cave men, but I suppose everyone has their limit.  I don’t understand all the car insurance ads though.  No matter which company I call, I can save over $400 on car insurance.  So if I call 5 companies, the final one should be willing to pay me over $1000 to insure my driving.


Some commercials are pretty good, others are tripe.  The beer companies usually provide some entertainment while selling their product.  I have already highlighted the above mentioned Pepsi ad as my choice for the worst individual commercial of the decade.  I think the best one is Yogi Berra in the barber shop - “They give you cash, which is just as good as money.”  But now that Denny Hecker ads are history, and the elections are over for awhile, the company that provides us with the worst TV advertising, time and time again, has got to be Burger King.  Where is the old “Two hands” jingle when you need it.  


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